In the words of the mighty band from 2007 the Ting Tings …. That is not my beeping name! Ok so maybe she didn’t swear but I bet she wanted to!
Ok so bit of a rant is coming! Before I start please don’t doubt for a mo that I do have respect and total admiration for what Midwives do, I am a former midwife so I KNOW how hard it can be stress, protocols after protocols, endless paperwork, stress, 12hr shifts, stress, lack of support, oh and yeh STRESS! I could go in but hey that’s a whole other Blog!
So imagine this, at my first birth I was 33yrs old, I had been a Midwife for many years and was at this point a Senior Manager in the NHS running sexual health service’s. I had my own bank account, had a functioning (awesome) relationship, a husband (the functioning awesome relationship), two step daughters, a cat, a shopping problem, a degree, a tad of debt…ok maybe a tad more than a tad! Do you get me, I was a fully functioning WOMAN.
I had been in labour for quite some time at home when I eventually rocked up at the hospital, don’t get me wrong it was hard work my God it was hard work, strong powerful surges but I breathed through each one like my life depended on it, each one growing in its intensity and each one demanding me to dig deeper, to call in the awesome amazing strength that lay within me. I was strong, I was a frigging birthing goddess, I was rocking it!
So please for the love of god I ask you as a fully competent woman who at the time we met happened to be birthing her child PLEASE don’t call me, refer to me or praise me with the words ‘Girl’ ‘Good Girl’ because ”Good Girl’ is not my name and it is most definitely does not sum up what I am doing, achieving, smashing at that moment of birth! At the moment of birth that unsurpassed intensity, awesome sensations like nothing I have ever experienced, I was doing many things, but trust me being a ‘good girl’ was not one of them! I don’t expect you to shout out ‘you freaking awesome birthing goddess’ or ‘you awesome mother …….’ but PLEASE don’t address me with ‘good girl’!
As a Midwife and attending women in birth as a Doula and obviously at my own birth I hear this time and again and it grates on me like nothing you can imagine. If you weren’t sure what to call me then please …. feel free to use my name…Wendy.